The faster you wake up, the better both of our lives will be. Meaning I’ll be calm and you won’t be thrown out a window.

Consider this situation carefully, and choose wisely.

IMMA ANALYZE ALL THE STARS. AND PLANETS. AND NEBULAS. AND MOONS. AND STUFF. BRING IT ON.

Also done with science foooreeeevaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

SCENE: WATCHING NBC’S AWAKE WHEN A BATTLESHIP PREVIEW COMES ON.

Mom: My problem with this movie is that they took this wonderfully fun game—because Battleship is a really fantastic game—and turned it into this movie that isn’t going to be good. And also that Lucius Malfoy has sunk so low as to do late-night NBC TV shows. I liked him!! He was good!! he was in Schindler’s List for God’s sake!!

Dad: See…………………… aliens……………they’re big….. and on the history channel (*TV NOT ON THE HISTORY CHANNEL AT THE MOMENT*). This movie is a documentary. It’ll be in the Documentary segment of the academy awards.

Mom: You need to go back to sleep now

Dad: I’m just trying to help you understand